...

i really miss talking to you. sometimes the feeling gets worse and it gets me teared up even when i refuse to cry. it doesn't work you know, getting myself busy and trying to fit everything in my schedule in a day just to get rid of the thought about you all the time. sad that it doesn't work. it doesn't work at all. you keep coming back in my thoughts at the end of the day when im physically and mentally drained after a long day of being busy, trying to get you off of my mind. and it gets even tiring sometimes. the worst part is that i cant tell anybody about how much i miss talking to you because nobody will ever understand. i cant just tell some random people about how much im struggling at the moment trying to be okay about the fact that you're no longer here to listen to me. i have so many things that i want to tell you about how my days have been and how much im hurting about so many things these past few months. i want to tell you every details of it, and above all, i want to tell you how much i long for you every time i cant seem to hold everything in any longer. and  that i always ended up sad, because i cant ever seem to reach you anymore..

no, im not done with being strong yet, but im also yet to be done with missing your presence in my life. 

And that is, by far, the most pathetic truth i have ever find out about myself. 

11:14pm

23/8/2016